Humble pie tastes horrible, ladies and gents. But there are times each season where we all have to choke down a serving. This is why I love softball. Everyone has a chance to stand tall like "He-Man." But sooner or later, you come up short like "Wee Man."

Like the MTV "Jackass" midget star, we royally kicked ourselves in the head during the second third of our regular season. But that’s OK; a good reality check can do wonders for any team headed down the stretch drive.

As for myself and the rest of the Wankees, I think we knew where we stood amongst the competition and what we needed to work on. Which wasn’t so much hitting, not so much fielding, but definitely was player attendance. We may as well have been standing first in the buffet line for that crow-flavored humble pie when we couldn’t answer questions like "Has anyone heard from Randy?" or "Is Gil coming tonight?" as warm-up time was ending.

Sometimes just getting a lineup turned in on time was a game in itself (thanks to Mike Wanger, Scott DeBolt and especially Scott’s wife Brenda for their efforts in taking roll call each Wednesday!), but that’s part of the unpredictable fun of being a Wankee.

And everyone that‘s ever played, from ‘comp‘ leagues to the beer leagues, can relate; there’s a little bit of Wankee-ness in every softball-er after all....

Without delaying any longer like Garciaparra fixing his batting gloves, I’m proud to unveil my second ‘Diamond Diary’ installment of "Walking With the Wankees."

This is a summer as I knew it, loved it and recorded it.

June 1, 2005 - ALL LIQUOR-ED UP!

Now I remember why I hate ‘bye’ weeks. Well, our two-week honeymoon came to an abrupt end tonight as we fell to Durango Liquor in Week Four. I’m really at a loss for words on this one. Randy Egner again took the ball tonight on the mound. Despite playing moderately well, we managed to drop it for him with defensive lapses leading to a big inning that determined the outcome. Dropping the 8:20 PM game, we were shelled and lost the war of 18-12.

I went 2-for-4 at the plate and drove in one run. Hopefully we’re back from Cloud Ten to a more rooted-in-reality Cloud Six or Seven, knowing we’ve got to play better defense to get back up to Cloud Nine. Our best litmus test to date comes next week against Chaos--who gives us all we can handle each time out. Never a dull moment! And seeing it‘s a 9:25 PM game on the schedule, I wouldn’t be surprised if most people in attendance find their way over to see what’s probably going to be the game of the night. So maybe that’s the lesson we’re supposed to learn in defeat here tonight--to put this one in the past.

June 8, 2005 - MOBBED IN A SEA OF CHAOS

Oh boy folks was this one ugly. About the only positive I can take from this one is that we’re still at .500 with a lot of ball left in the regular season. We found out a few days ago that Randy E. wouldn’t be in town, and we were missing a few other regulars. John Bernazzani took the mound for us in Randy’s place, his first action all season. He‘s a fun one to catch, crouching down to find his target--almost on an eye-to-eye plane with me as though he was trying to gain extra insight on where I want the ball--then rearing back to toss it in, all with a high level of concentration visible.

Too bad Chaos was ready to hit anything remotely close to the plate. Inside, outside, offside, upside-down. I got a great view of black jerseys coming my way from third to home. And then past me. It wasn’t that we were playing that badly in the field; they found every gap possible and dropped their hits in front of our charging outfielders or behind our backpedaling infielders. Our centerfielder Patrick McIntyre seemed constantly in fast forward mode, sprinting to scoop up a shot to deep left-center only to have to dash off into deep right-center the very next pitch, with rarely a second to catch his breath.

Mine even got a little bloodied up. Crouching to receive a throw from our right-centerfielder Rich Lawton, the ball hit something a few feet before me and instead of bouncing into my glove; it shot right up into my mouth! We got the final out of the inning just a batter or two later, and there was already an ice bag waiting for me in the dugout. Ironically, Rich is a doctor and Scott’s wife Brenda works in a hospital. So after a quick examination on the bench, I was feeling pretty positive for a quick recovery from a pair of split lips.

And it was even harder to hoist up sails to support and drive our ‘Sloop’ John B. when we didn’t give him any run support! The Beach Boys we weren’t--more like beached whales with our sluggish lack of slugging tonight. I went 1-for-3 and scored once, but when you lose 17-4 all you can do is be glad the run rule kicked in, go home, forget about it and play next week.

June 15, 2005 - X-ing OUT EXXON!

Guess who’s back...back again...We all showed up...Got that win! Though we didn’t have as many hits as Eminem, we had enough to get back on track. Randy E. returned and this time we did what we had to do and did it right. And there’s nothing better for morale than giving up seventeen runs one week, then surrendering only five the next. Exactly what we did against Huck Finn Exxon tonight in our first 6:10 PM game since Week One. Though we only scored eleven, it was enough to get Randy E. his third win of the season against one loss and improve the Wankees record to 3-2, still close to first place. I went 2-for-3 in the fast-moving game, singling, legging out a triple and scoring twice.

Next week will be interesting, playing a team new to the league this season. I’ve heard rumors that they play in a competitive league nearby (we‘re one step below the ‘comp’ division), so we’d better be prepared for anything. Our defense tonight was good, but I think we can crank it up a couple notches. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a play my way since that first game!